Author: Mandy-Leigh
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I have been thinking about getting pregnant again a lot these days. After losing my first baby at nine weeks I was devastated but wanted to start trying again straight away. We did and I go pregnant again within the first cycle after my D&C. We got the BFP on 1 September and we were overjoyed. The pregnancy was complicated with many bleeds and many days spent lying in hospital. The people at work were getting annoyed at the amount of sick leave I was taking. After the first 16 weeks things started to get better. I could move around and drive myself to work. The baby was growing nicely, the tripple tests came back normal and we were starting to look forward to meeting our little girl. I was getting very swollen and none of my shoes fit anymore. It was December and the temperatures went up to 38 degrees. I was very uncomfortable and complained about it a lot. I wanted the pregnancy to go faster so I could be over and done with it. At the 22 week scan our girl weighed 360 grams. At the end of week 23 I started to relax a bit because I considered her to be viable. In the 24th week I went into pre-term labour. I got hectic contractions and sat in our bath crying hysterically before we went to hospital. I couldn’t move and my body was aching all over. When we got to the hospital they tried to listen to the heartbeat with a doppler. The nurse casually informed me that there was no heartbeat and that my baby was dead. I look her in the eye and said to her that I could still feel the baby move. The called my doctor and he did a scan. It was bad news. She was not viable and would die soon after birth. She weighed 500 grams according to the scan. I had to deliver her vaginally and I cried like I have never cried before in my entire life as I gave the final push. She was lifeless. My husband cut the cord and tears welled up in his eyes.My mom was also present and she was my rock throughout the delivery. They gave me morphine, took me to theatre and then cleaned her up. They showed her to my parents and to my husband after bathing her and they stood there crying while looking at her lifeless body. After I woke up they brought her to me. She was beautiful. She looked so at peace and she was such a pretty and delicate little being. Perfect in every way. It’s a picture that is stuck in my mind forever. So getting pregnant again is a huge thing for me. I want a baby desperately but I want the same baby. I want that baby that I held in my arms that day. I want her back. Maybe I am not ready yet, maybe I am holding on too tight. I don’t know. Hopefully the next pregnancy will be different. Different in every possible way.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Posted by: Anon
Warning: The content of this may offend some, please do not continue to read if you find the content upsetting.
Comments are open
Yesterday I posed the question :
“Let’s touch on Abortion for a second. Is it really ok for a 12 year old to now be able to decide to have an abortion WITHOUT any consent from her parents or counseling just because she wants to? Or is it OK if it is done before 6weeks because there is no heartbeat present?”
First of all let me say this, I agree 100% with Nikki that NO 12 year old should be having sex.
Let me give you an insight.
The Party’s :
Mother is 47 Years old, Married 3 times, Divorced 3 Times
Dad is 38 Years old – Divorced father of the 13 year old
13 Yr Old Daughter
In Mother’s eyes the following are acceptable :
Buying Cigarettes for her Daughter. And allowing her to smoke in public.
Letting her teenage daughter “Date” men on average 18-23 Years old.
Letting her daughter stay on her own home alone, whilst mother is travelling the country for work duties.
The parents have joint Custody. The Daughter doesn’t want to visit/stay with her Father because he is too Strict, won’t allow the ciggies, booze and won’t allow the Boyfriends.
The Scenario :
Mother has to leave on business Trip to Nelspruit. Daughter stays unbeknownst to her father alone at home. Boyfriend comes to visit. The kisses and cuddles turns into something way too adult rated and daughter wants “out”. Whether she wanted to experiment with S.e.x. at this Stage is not applicable, what is important is that she no longer wants to. Boyfriend takes advantage and they end up having s.e.x. anyways.
Daughter phones her mother and explains what happened. Mother (still in Nelspruit) tells daughter to relax and wait until she got back, she (daughter) did kind of “led the Man on” when she allowed Kisses and Cuddles.) – Dad is NOT informed at this stage, actually Daughter doesn’t WANT contact with DAD.
Moms get back and after some arbitrary fight, daughter decided it’s time to phone DAD. This is 2 weeks after the incident! Dad goes fetches daughter and has HUGE fall out with Mother. Dad wants to kill BOYFRIEND, have him arrested. Daughter with Dad, so HouseRules apply : no smoking, Drinking, Boyfriends. This lasts 24hours…..
Between Mother and Daughter they both decided Dad is way too strict and Mother fetches daughter.
Nobody Knows if :
a) Daughter might be Pregnant.
b) Daughter might suffer from an STD / HIV Aids
c) Daughter suffer from Trauma or had the Boyfriend charged with S.e.x with an minor.
Now what TOTALLY angers me up to this point is the following :
1) That the mother doesn’t give a crap if the child smokes, boozes or has ADULT boyfriends
2) That the mother can allow a 13 year old to stay alone
3) That the mother is not even ATTEMPTING to find out if daughter is pregnant and/or have STD’s
4) That the mother ALLOWS a 13 year old to make decisions, actually ANY Major decisions.
5) That there is NO s.e.x. education, and after the S.e.x. act that the Mother, told her to relax and WAIT until she gets home.
6) That there is no Repercussions to the Boyfriend who KNOWS he had s.e.x. with a minor.
7) All correspondence with Dad is Discontinued. Dad Unable to get hold of them, address and or telephone wise!
Who would be to blame if this Child is pregnant and/or suffering from AIDS? The child ? Because she did the act, or the Mother, because she allowed all this to happen without educating the child?
At this point in time, if the child is pregnant or were to become pregnant, the mother most certainly would just take this child for an abortion with NO regard for the miracle of life the child is carrying. And I don’t think she would even care to explain ANY repercussions to the Child.
I feel I am morally bound to this child, I feel I need to educate her, I feel I can not stand back and watch this child and her mother WRECK her life! I want to do something! But Legally my hands are tied.
B.T.W Social Services can’t/won’t assist as their backlog is HUGE.
Warning: The content of this may offend some, please do not continue to read if you find the content upsetting.
Comments are open
Yesterday I posed the question :
“Let’s touch on Abortion for a second. Is it really ok for a 12 year old to now be able to decide to have an abortion WITHOUT any consent from her parents or counseling just because she wants to? Or is it OK if it is done before 6weeks because there is no heartbeat present?”
First of all let me say this, I agree 100% with Nikki that NO 12 year old should be having sex.
Let me give you an insight.
The Party’s :
Mother is 47 Years old, Married 3 times, Divorced 3 Times
Dad is 38 Years old – Divorced father of the 13 year old
13 Yr Old Daughter
In Mother’s eyes the following are acceptable :
Buying Cigarettes for her Daughter. And allowing her to smoke in public.
Letting her teenage daughter “Date” men on average 18-23 Years old.
Letting her daughter stay on her own home alone, whilst mother is travelling the country for work duties.
The parents have joint Custody. The Daughter doesn’t want to visit/stay with her Father because he is too Strict, won’t allow the ciggies, booze and won’t allow the Boyfriends.
The Scenario :
Mother has to leave on business Trip to Nelspruit. Daughter stays unbeknownst to her father alone at home. Boyfriend comes to visit. The kisses and cuddles turns into something way too adult rated and daughter wants “out”. Whether she wanted to experiment with S.e.x. at this Stage is not applicable, what is important is that she no longer wants to. Boyfriend takes advantage and they end up having s.e.x. anyways.
Daughter phones her mother and explains what happened. Mother (still in Nelspruit) tells daughter to relax and wait until she got back, she (daughter) did kind of “led the Man on” when she allowed Kisses and Cuddles.) – Dad is NOT informed at this stage, actually Daughter doesn’t WANT contact with DAD.
Moms get back and after some arbitrary fight, daughter decided it’s time to phone DAD. This is 2 weeks after the incident! Dad goes fetches daughter and has HUGE fall out with Mother. Dad wants to kill BOYFRIEND, have him arrested. Daughter with Dad, so HouseRules apply : no smoking, Drinking, Boyfriends. This lasts 24hours…..
Between Mother and Daughter they both decided Dad is way too strict and Mother fetches daughter.
Nobody Knows if :
a) Daughter might be Pregnant.
b) Daughter might suffer from an STD / HIV Aids
c) Daughter suffer from Trauma or had the Boyfriend charged with S.e.x with an minor.
Now what TOTALLY angers me up to this point is the following :
1) That the mother doesn’t give a crap if the child smokes, boozes or has ADULT boyfriends
2) That the mother can allow a 13 year old to stay alone
3) That the mother is not even ATTEMPTING to find out if daughter is pregnant and/or have STD’s
4) That the mother ALLOWS a 13 year old to make decisions, actually ANY Major decisions.
5) That there is NO s.e.x. education, and after the S.e.x. act that the Mother, told her to relax and WAIT until she gets home.
6) That there is no Repercussions to the Boyfriend who KNOWS he had s.e.x. with a minor.
7) All correspondence with Dad is Discontinued. Dad Unable to get hold of them, address and or telephone wise!
Who would be to blame if this Child is pregnant and/or suffering from AIDS? The child ? Because she did the act, or the Mother, because she allowed all this to happen without educating the child?
At this point in time, if the child is pregnant or were to become pregnant, the mother most certainly would just take this child for an abortion with NO regard for the miracle of life the child is carrying. And I don’t think she would even care to explain ANY repercussions to the Child.
I feel I am morally bound to this child, I feel I need to educate her, I feel I can not stand back and watch this child and her mother WRECK her life! I want to do something! But Legally my hands are tied.
B.T.W Social Services can’t/won’t assist as their backlog is HUGE.
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