Author: Anonymous
Comments: Welcome
Notes: If you know this Blogger, please do NOT refer to her by name. Thank you
My inlaws discovered my blog, read it and had a Hissy Fit about my posting of being a perfect sister, needless to say, it was like the 4th World War in my house, and I was given the ultimatum of having a husband or a blog. So my husband cleverly decided to delete ALL my blog postings in case his family read any other ones and took offence.
Right now I am foaming at the lips, because I liked blogging, so I am contemplating on starting one in Wordpress without his knowledge and keeping it a secret.. But I also don’t like the idea of hiding stuff from him… Eish, advice would be appreciated.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
To My "Close" Friend
Author: Anon
Comments are welcome
Please don’t tell me, “But there are worse things in the world than not being able to fall pregnant” when you have the child you wanted and I can’t have a child and you specifically asked me how our TTC plans were going.
You have no idea of the ache inside of me but instead I smile and interact with your child every weekend when we get together. I will from now on ensure that you never ever know the details of our heart-brakes.
Comments are welcome
Please don’t tell me, “But there are worse things in the world than not being able to fall pregnant” when you have the child you wanted and I can’t have a child and you specifically asked me how our TTC plans were going.
You have no idea of the ache inside of me but instead I smile and interact with your child every weekend when we get together. I will from now on ensure that you never ever know the details of our heart-brakes.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Author: Mandy-Leigh
Comments are closed
I have been thinking about getting pregnant again a lot these days. After losing my first baby at nine weeks I was devastated but wanted to start trying again straight away. We did and I go pregnant again within the first cycle after my D&C. We got the BFP on 1 September and we were overjoyed. The pregnancy was complicated with many bleeds and many days spent lying in hospital. The people at work were getting annoyed at the amount of sick leave I was taking. After the first 16 weeks things started to get better. I could move around and drive myself to work. The baby was growing nicely, the tripple tests came back normal and we were starting to look forward to meeting our little girl. I was getting very swollen and none of my shoes fit anymore. It was December and the temperatures went up to 38 degrees. I was very uncomfortable and complained about it a lot. I wanted the pregnancy to go faster so I could be over and done with it. At the 22 week scan our girl weighed 360 grams. At the end of week 23 I started to relax a bit because I considered her to be viable. In the 24th week I went into pre-term labour. I got hectic contractions and sat in our bath crying hysterically before we went to hospital. I couldn’t move and my body was aching all over. When we got to the hospital they tried to listen to the heartbeat with a doppler. The nurse casually informed me that there was no heartbeat and that my baby was dead. I look her in the eye and said to her that I could still feel the baby move. The called my doctor and he did a scan. It was bad news. She was not viable and would die soon after birth. She weighed 500 grams according to the scan. I had to deliver her vaginally and I cried like I have never cried before in my entire life as I gave the final push. She was lifeless. My husband cut the cord and tears welled up in his eyes.My mom was also present and she was my rock throughout the delivery. They gave me morphine, took me to theatre and then cleaned her up. They showed her to my parents and to my husband after bathing her and they stood there crying while looking at her lifeless body. After I woke up they brought her to me. She was beautiful. She looked so at peace and she was such a pretty and delicate little being. Perfect in every way. It’s a picture that is stuck in my mind forever. So getting pregnant again is a huge thing for me. I want a baby desperately but I want the same baby. I want that baby that I held in my arms that day. I want her back. Maybe I am not ready yet, maybe I am holding on too tight. I don’t know. Hopefully the next pregnancy will be different. Different in every possible way.
Comments are closed
I have been thinking about getting pregnant again a lot these days. After losing my first baby at nine weeks I was devastated but wanted to start trying again straight away. We did and I go pregnant again within the first cycle after my D&C. We got the BFP on 1 September and we were overjoyed. The pregnancy was complicated with many bleeds and many days spent lying in hospital. The people at work were getting annoyed at the amount of sick leave I was taking. After the first 16 weeks things started to get better. I could move around and drive myself to work. The baby was growing nicely, the tripple tests came back normal and we were starting to look forward to meeting our little girl. I was getting very swollen and none of my shoes fit anymore. It was December and the temperatures went up to 38 degrees. I was very uncomfortable and complained about it a lot. I wanted the pregnancy to go faster so I could be over and done with it. At the 22 week scan our girl weighed 360 grams. At the end of week 23 I started to relax a bit because I considered her to be viable. In the 24th week I went into pre-term labour. I got hectic contractions and sat in our bath crying hysterically before we went to hospital. I couldn’t move and my body was aching all over. When we got to the hospital they tried to listen to the heartbeat with a doppler. The nurse casually informed me that there was no heartbeat and that my baby was dead. I look her in the eye and said to her that I could still feel the baby move. The called my doctor and he did a scan. It was bad news. She was not viable and would die soon after birth. She weighed 500 grams according to the scan. I had to deliver her vaginally and I cried like I have never cried before in my entire life as I gave the final push. She was lifeless. My husband cut the cord and tears welled up in his eyes.My mom was also present and she was my rock throughout the delivery. They gave me morphine, took me to theatre and then cleaned her up. They showed her to my parents and to my husband after bathing her and they stood there crying while looking at her lifeless body. After I woke up they brought her to me. She was beautiful. She looked so at peace and she was such a pretty and delicate little being. Perfect in every way. It’s a picture that is stuck in my mind forever. So getting pregnant again is a huge thing for me. I want a baby desperately but I want the same baby. I want that baby that I held in my arms that day. I want her back. Maybe I am not ready yet, maybe I am holding on too tight. I don’t know. Hopefully the next pregnancy will be different. Different in every possible way.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Posted by: Anon
Warning: The content of this may offend some, please do not continue to read if you find the content upsetting.
Comments are open
Yesterday I posed the question :
“Let’s touch on Abortion for a second. Is it really ok for a 12 year old to now be able to decide to have an abortion WITHOUT any consent from her parents or counseling just because she wants to? Or is it OK if it is done before 6weeks because there is no heartbeat present?”
First of all let me say this, I agree 100% with Nikki that NO 12 year old should be having sex.
Let me give you an insight.
The Party’s :
Mother is 47 Years old, Married 3 times, Divorced 3 Times
Dad is 38 Years old – Divorced father of the 13 year old
13 Yr Old Daughter
In Mother’s eyes the following are acceptable :
Buying Cigarettes for her Daughter. And allowing her to smoke in public.
Letting her teenage daughter “Date” men on average 18-23 Years old.
Letting her daughter stay on her own home alone, whilst mother is travelling the country for work duties.
The parents have joint Custody. The Daughter doesn’t want to visit/stay with her Father because he is too Strict, won’t allow the ciggies, booze and won’t allow the Boyfriends.
The Scenario :
Mother has to leave on business Trip to Nelspruit. Daughter stays unbeknownst to her father alone at home. Boyfriend comes to visit. The kisses and cuddles turns into something way too adult rated and daughter wants “out”. Whether she wanted to experiment with S.e.x. at this Stage is not applicable, what is important is that she no longer wants to. Boyfriend takes advantage and they end up having s.e.x. anyways.
Daughter phones her mother and explains what happened. Mother (still in Nelspruit) tells daughter to relax and wait until she got back, she (daughter) did kind of “led the Man on” when she allowed Kisses and Cuddles.) – Dad is NOT informed at this stage, actually Daughter doesn’t WANT contact with DAD.
Moms get back and after some arbitrary fight, daughter decided it’s time to phone DAD. This is 2 weeks after the incident! Dad goes fetches daughter and has HUGE fall out with Mother. Dad wants to kill BOYFRIEND, have him arrested. Daughter with Dad, so HouseRules apply : no smoking, Drinking, Boyfriends. This lasts 24hours…..
Between Mother and Daughter they both decided Dad is way too strict and Mother fetches daughter.
Nobody Knows if :
a) Daughter might be Pregnant.
b) Daughter might suffer from an STD / HIV Aids
c) Daughter suffer from Trauma or had the Boyfriend charged with S.e.x with an minor.
Now what TOTALLY angers me up to this point is the following :
1) That the mother doesn’t give a crap if the child smokes, boozes or has ADULT boyfriends
2) That the mother can allow a 13 year old to stay alone
3) That the mother is not even ATTEMPTING to find out if daughter is pregnant and/or have STD’s
4) That the mother ALLOWS a 13 year old to make decisions, actually ANY Major decisions.
5) That there is NO s.e.x. education, and after the S.e.x. act that the Mother, told her to relax and WAIT until she gets home.
6) That there is no Repercussions to the Boyfriend who KNOWS he had s.e.x. with a minor.
7) All correspondence with Dad is Discontinued. Dad Unable to get hold of them, address and or telephone wise!
Who would be to blame if this Child is pregnant and/or suffering from AIDS? The child ? Because she did the act, or the Mother, because she allowed all this to happen without educating the child?
At this point in time, if the child is pregnant or were to become pregnant, the mother most certainly would just take this child for an abortion with NO regard for the miracle of life the child is carrying. And I don’t think she would even care to explain ANY repercussions to the Child.
I feel I am morally bound to this child, I feel I need to educate her, I feel I can not stand back and watch this child and her mother WRECK her life! I want to do something! But Legally my hands are tied.
B.T.W Social Services can’t/won’t assist as their backlog is HUGE.
Warning: The content of this may offend some, please do not continue to read if you find the content upsetting.
Comments are open
Yesterday I posed the question :
“Let’s touch on Abortion for a second. Is it really ok for a 12 year old to now be able to decide to have an abortion WITHOUT any consent from her parents or counseling just because she wants to? Or is it OK if it is done before 6weeks because there is no heartbeat present?”
First of all let me say this, I agree 100% with Nikki that NO 12 year old should be having sex.
Let me give you an insight.
The Party’s :
Mother is 47 Years old, Married 3 times, Divorced 3 Times
Dad is 38 Years old – Divorced father of the 13 year old
13 Yr Old Daughter
In Mother’s eyes the following are acceptable :
Buying Cigarettes for her Daughter. And allowing her to smoke in public.
Letting her teenage daughter “Date” men on average 18-23 Years old.
Letting her daughter stay on her own home alone, whilst mother is travelling the country for work duties.
The parents have joint Custody. The Daughter doesn’t want to visit/stay with her Father because he is too Strict, won’t allow the ciggies, booze and won’t allow the Boyfriends.
The Scenario :
Mother has to leave on business Trip to Nelspruit. Daughter stays unbeknownst to her father alone at home. Boyfriend comes to visit. The kisses and cuddles turns into something way too adult rated and daughter wants “out”. Whether she wanted to experiment with S.e.x. at this Stage is not applicable, what is important is that she no longer wants to. Boyfriend takes advantage and they end up having s.e.x. anyways.
Daughter phones her mother and explains what happened. Mother (still in Nelspruit) tells daughter to relax and wait until she got back, she (daughter) did kind of “led the Man on” when she allowed Kisses and Cuddles.) – Dad is NOT informed at this stage, actually Daughter doesn’t WANT contact with DAD.
Moms get back and after some arbitrary fight, daughter decided it’s time to phone DAD. This is 2 weeks after the incident! Dad goes fetches daughter and has HUGE fall out with Mother. Dad wants to kill BOYFRIEND, have him arrested. Daughter with Dad, so HouseRules apply : no smoking, Drinking, Boyfriends. This lasts 24hours…..
Between Mother and Daughter they both decided Dad is way too strict and Mother fetches daughter.
Nobody Knows if :
a) Daughter might be Pregnant.
b) Daughter might suffer from an STD / HIV Aids
c) Daughter suffer from Trauma or had the Boyfriend charged with S.e.x with an minor.
Now what TOTALLY angers me up to this point is the following :
1) That the mother doesn’t give a crap if the child smokes, boozes or has ADULT boyfriends
2) That the mother can allow a 13 year old to stay alone
3) That the mother is not even ATTEMPTING to find out if daughter is pregnant and/or have STD’s
4) That the mother ALLOWS a 13 year old to make decisions, actually ANY Major decisions.
5) That there is NO s.e.x. education, and after the S.e.x. act that the Mother, told her to relax and WAIT until she gets home.
6) That there is no Repercussions to the Boyfriend who KNOWS he had s.e.x. with a minor.
7) All correspondence with Dad is Discontinued. Dad Unable to get hold of them, address and or telephone wise!
Who would be to blame if this Child is pregnant and/or suffering from AIDS? The child ? Because she did the act, or the Mother, because she allowed all this to happen without educating the child?
At this point in time, if the child is pregnant or were to become pregnant, the mother most certainly would just take this child for an abortion with NO regard for the miracle of life the child is carrying. And I don’t think she would even care to explain ANY repercussions to the Child.
I feel I am morally bound to this child, I feel I need to educate her, I feel I can not stand back and watch this child and her mother WRECK her life! I want to do something! But Legally my hands are tied.
B.T.W Social Services can’t/won’t assist as their backlog is HUGE.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Adoption
Posted by: Anonymous
Apologies to the Author for the late submission, I have been having some technical errors with the mail account.
I just so wish that SW who is working with adoption could just try to be more sensitive about the issue regarding adoption. I know they put the baby first and it is right, but some let you feel because you can't have children of your own or struggle to fall pregnant you're a freak and then also you have to pay so many administration costs that you could just buy a baby on the black market (think it would be much cheaper) and then also they want you to pay the hospital bill for the birth mom.
In the end there is so many costs involve that you can't give your LO everything he/she need or everything you so desperately want to give to LO.
Just another woman who try to adopt.
Apologies to the Author for the late submission, I have been having some technical errors with the mail account.
I just so wish that SW who is working with adoption could just try to be more sensitive about the issue regarding adoption. I know they put the baby first and it is right, but some let you feel because you can't have children of your own or struggle to fall pregnant you're a freak and then also you have to pay so many administration costs that you could just buy a baby on the black market (think it would be much cheaper) and then also they want you to pay the hospital bill for the birth mom.
In the end there is so many costs involve that you can't give your LO everything he/she need or everything you so desperately want to give to LO.
Just another woman who try to adopt.
Monday, May 11, 2009
My Darling Husband
Warning: Strong Language
My Darling Husband,
This is a letter to let you know that I am not in fact PMSing.
I am in fact just tired. And here is why.
I am tired of you getting all the perks of a 'stay at home mom', with none of the drudge work. I still have to change shitty nappies, deal with the colic bouts and get up for the night feeds. You do none of it.
You bitch at me at 4 in the morning when the baby needs to be fed, and ask stupid questions like, "what's wrong with him now"? You get sensitive when I get snappy or answer your stupid question with a stupid answer!
I am tired, I am surviving on 5 hours sleep a night. I am stressed because I am running your business for you, earning a quarter of your salary, so that you can play doll during the day. I am unhappy because 'our' son, your boy from a previous marriage, and whom I have mothered for almost 10 years did not even bother to spend more than 30 minutes with me on Mothers Day, despite his dead beat incubator, never being in the picture. I am irritable because I am expected to be perfect. I am angry because you continue to tell people how incredibly tired you are. And mostly, I am about to bash your brains in because you keep telling me that I need to get my hormones checked out.
FUCK YOU, I had a baby a few months ago! What have you done?
My Darling Husband,
This is a letter to let you know that I am not in fact PMSing.
I am in fact just tired. And here is why.
I am tired of you getting all the perks of a 'stay at home mom', with none of the drudge work. I still have to change shitty nappies, deal with the colic bouts and get up for the night feeds. You do none of it.
You bitch at me at 4 in the morning when the baby needs to be fed, and ask stupid questions like, "what's wrong with him now"? You get sensitive when I get snappy or answer your stupid question with a stupid answer!
I am tired, I am surviving on 5 hours sleep a night. I am stressed because I am running your business for you, earning a quarter of your salary, so that you can play doll during the day. I am unhappy because 'our' son, your boy from a previous marriage, and whom I have mothered for almost 10 years did not even bother to spend more than 30 minutes with me on Mothers Day, despite his dead beat incubator, never being in the picture. I am irritable because I am expected to be perfect. I am angry because you continue to tell people how incredibly tired you are. And mostly, I am about to bash your brains in because you keep telling me that I need to get my hormones checked out.
FUCK YOU, I had a baby a few months ago! What have you done?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Random
Author: Anon
Warnings: I really don't know what to type here, I suppose female TMI?
You know when you're fairly certain Aunt Flo has left. She hasn't shown even a small trace of her being around. You finally gain enough confidence to wear that pair of crisp white panties you've been avoiding for the last week. And then you go the whole day being paranoid, so you keep running to the toilet to check and you've wiped yourself so many times that your lady bits have a protesting since the first 16 wipes. So you make it through the entire day without any incidences and you're driving home in traffic and the only thing that's left to remind you of your day of obsession is the slight sting left in your nether regions, and you sit down and have a glass of wine to unwind and it's all a distant memory. You run a bath, and undress and there in your clean white underwear the bitch has left you a little brown present!
Warnings: I really don't know what to type here, I suppose female TMI?
You know when you're fairly certain Aunt Flo has left. She hasn't shown even a small trace of her being around. You finally gain enough confidence to wear that pair of crisp white panties you've been avoiding for the last week. And then you go the whole day being paranoid, so you keep running to the toilet to check and you've wiped yourself so many times that your lady bits have a protesting since the first 16 wipes. So you make it through the entire day without any incidences and you're driving home in traffic and the only thing that's left to remind you of your day of obsession is the slight sting left in your nether regions, and you sit down and have a glass of wine to unwind and it's all a distant memory. You run a bath, and undress and there in your clean white underwear the bitch has left you a little brown present!
Sex & Babies
I'm posting here, because I have family that read my other blog, but I'd really like your opinions here ladies regardless of whether you have a baby, are preg, or not.
How do you feel about sex and babies? More specifically, how do you feel about sex and babies in the room with you. I really didn't have a problem with the whole concept. In fact, our sex life has been amazing since giving birth, but since baby has become alert and is quite clearly taking everything in, I'm just not sure. I know that he's under 6 months and that there is no possible way that he will consciously remember Mom and Dad on the job, but somehow just knowing that he could be awake and hearing or, God forbid, seeing the act is a buzz kill.
My husband doesn't seem to have a problem, but then we know men are horn dogs. It's clearly time to move the youngen out of our room, but I really need to know if I'm being paranoid here.
All opinions are welcome, I've opened comments to all and sundry.
Thanks ladies.
How do you feel about sex and babies? More specifically, how do you feel about sex and babies in the room with you. I really didn't have a problem with the whole concept. In fact, our sex life has been amazing since giving birth, but since baby has become alert and is quite clearly taking everything in, I'm just not sure. I know that he's under 6 months and that there is no possible way that he will consciously remember Mom and Dad on the job, but somehow just knowing that he could be awake and hearing or, God forbid, seeing the act is a buzz kill.
My husband doesn't seem to have a problem, but then we know men are horn dogs. It's clearly time to move the youngen out of our room, but I really need to know if I'm being paranoid here.
All opinions are welcome, I've opened comments to all and sundry.
Thanks ladies.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Want to shout it from the mountain tops, but can't or won't
Author: Anon
Comments: Welcome
For the 1st time in 4 years I am crying with joy.
I have a positive result, 2 lines, a beta of 157.
I want to shout it from the top of the mountains, but I won't.
My husband and I will be the only ones to know for the next 6 weeks.
Finally our turn has come. Praise God!
Comments: Welcome
For the 1st time in 4 years I am crying with joy.
I have a positive result, 2 lines, a beta of 157.
I want to shout it from the top of the mountains, but I won't.
My husband and I will be the only ones to know for the next 6 weeks.
Finally our turn has come. Praise God!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Who are they to judge me!
Author: Anon.
Warning: Some strong language
We went to a braai on the weekend with so called friends. I hate being in a group now, I feel like crawling into a hole, and living for only me and my husband. I don't fit in anymore, my friends have kids, or are having kids. They all show this "concern" about our journey, but they don't know shit! They pretend to understand, to be sympathetic but they just don't care. I used to think they cared but now I know they don't. I overheard them whispering about me, about how me and my husband were just not meant to be together right from the begining. How this was quite obviously a sign that we are not meant to be together.
Fuck them! Who are they to judge. I know so many of them who's husbands are abusive, drinking arseholes, who would never stick with their wives if they had to go through this. I'm done with all this crap, I'm over their judgemental ways. I never wish bad on anyone, but I won't be going anywhere near them anymore. I don't need this shit in my life
Warning: Some strong language
We went to a braai on the weekend with so called friends. I hate being in a group now, I feel like crawling into a hole, and living for only me and my husband. I don't fit in anymore, my friends have kids, or are having kids. They all show this "concern" about our journey, but they don't know shit! They pretend to understand, to be sympathetic but they just don't care. I used to think they cared but now I know they don't. I overheard them whispering about me, about how me and my husband were just not meant to be together right from the begining. How this was quite obviously a sign that we are not meant to be together.
Fuck them! Who are they to judge. I know so many of them who's husbands are abusive, drinking arseholes, who would never stick with their wives if they had to go through this. I'm done with all this crap, I'm over their judgemental ways. I never wish bad on anyone, but I won't be going anywhere near them anymore. I don't need this shit in my life
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Demand
All day, every day, demand.
I have no time for me.
When did I lose the person I was?
Where did my individuality go?
At what point did I care more about everyone other than me.
How do I stop?
When do the pieces of me return?
I have no time for me.
When did I lose the person I was?
Where did my individuality go?
At what point did I care more about everyone other than me.
How do I stop?
When do the pieces of me return?
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